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Attending the Mikvah
Before the wedding, Jewish brides are expected to attend the mikvah, a ritual bath where one is cleansed in preparation for the wedding ceremony. Some grooms may also choose to go to the mikvah. The Mikerin - or Mikvah attendent – will be there to help you with any questions you may have.
If there isn’t a mikvah in your community or hometown, you can still participate in this ritualistic cleansing. According to Jewish law, a mikvah can be any area that contains a flowing source of water – including a river, lake or ocean.
Fasting the Night Before The Wedding
In many communities, it is customary for the couple to fast beginning the night before the wedding. The fast is broken with the first sip of wine under the Chuppah during the ceremony. Similar to the fast on Yom Kippur, the couple is expected to fast so as to purify themselves and begin their new lives together in a clean and pure state.
At the Wedding:
Kabbalat Panim
Kabbalat Panim literally means the receiving of faces. Traditionally, there are two separate receptions, one for women and one for men. These ceremonies take place simultaneously.
The women’s reception is called Hakhnassat Kallah which literally means increasing the rejoicing of the bride. At this time, the bride receives her guests while seated on an elegant throne surrounded by her attendants, close family and friends. The atmosphere is festive, with music playing and friends dancing to entertain and honor the bride.
The men’s ceremony is called the Chosen Tish or “Groom’s Table”. There is an actual table which is laden with food and, as is customary, alcohol. While everyone is eating and drinking, the groom is expected to deliver a Torah discourse; however, he is continuously interrupted by his family and friends with joyous singing, clapping, toasting and dancing and is often unable to finish the speech. In more Orthodox communities, the ketubah signing will take place at the Chosen Tish. Once the ketubah is signed, the groom’s guests will dance him to his bride for the bedeken ceremony (see bedeken).
Ketubah Signing
At some point before the bedeken, the ketubah is signed. If no bedeken is taking place, the ketubah is often signed in the rabbi’s study or bride’s room before the ceremony begins. The ketubah must be signed by two witnesses, although the rabbi and the couple may sign the ketubah as well.
Bedeken
Bedeken is the custom where the groom veils his bride. This custom is based on the Biblical story in which Jacob, intending to marry Rachel, accidentally marries her older sister Leah, who wore a veil. By veiling his own bride, the groom insures that he is not being tricked with a new bride on his wedding day. A more poetic interpretation of bedeken is that by covering the bride’s face, the groom shows he values his bride for more than only her external beauty. Once the bedeken has taken place, the wedding processional can begin.
Today, many egalitarian couples choose to add to this ritual. When the groom places a veil on the bride, the bride can place a kippah (skullcap) on the groom’s head. Some couples choose not to include a veil at all and instead both place a kippah on the other’s head. Continue to Page 3 >>
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